Topics of Cancer Blogs

Okay. I was in the chemo “twilight zone” again, after my 4th treatment, early February 2004. My leukopenia (low white blood cell count) had subsided according to my latest blood work. However, my gums had become so swollen and inflamed that I couldn’t fully close my mouth without chomping down painfully upon the overgrown, pulsating flesh that had grown up and partially over the tops of my molars. This is when I discovered that I did, indeed, grind my teeth when I slept, as the searing pain caused by this unconscious activity woke me time and time again during the night. Fortunately, in desperation, I had dug the plastic bite guard my dentist had insisted I have made years earlier out of the back of the linen closet and found that wearing it at night did offer adequate protection and comfort to sleep through the night. One problem solved - now what to do about chewing? Eating solid food wearing a bite guard wasn’t an option; I was afraid I’d accidently choke on the silly thing. Frankly, I had enough on my plate, as it were, without that hazard to deal with. Two weeks of a semi-liquid diet was beginning to concern me. I mean, how much nutrition can you get out of strawberry jello, vanilla pudding and canned tomato soup? I’d finally resorted to having my husband run to the drug store for a case of Ensure. Ensure, in case you’re not familiar with it, is kind of Slim-Fast in reverse, generally used to supplement the diets of chewing-challenged elderly folks in danger of vitamin deficiency or outright starvation. It comes in various “wannabe” flavors like dutch chocolate, french vanilla, and pepperoni pizza (just kidding, but hopefully by now they’ve added that to their repertoire). I’m sure the product is much tastier than I remember. However, the multicolored poisons dancing merrily through my circulatory system had worked their toxic magic on my taste buds, converting the carefully-concocted flavors into such novelties as “Graphite Gravy” and “Tin Can Cocoa”. Starving isn’t my style; the healthiest thing about me is and has always been my appetite, no matter what grisly disease and/or condition my body was struggling with. And I was hell-bent on appearing as healthy as possible because, regardless of how wretched and weak I felt, I was NOT going to look like a corpse at work.